daily moment

[kagami]

- To whomever it may concern -

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.

2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

3. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. No one is listening until you fart.

6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. Don't squat with your spurs on.

15. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

16. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

23. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

24. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

[MOD]

:rofl::rofl:

[screamBoy]

наздоровя, девушка прекрасная !

[Alien]

ааа не някой са жестоко измислени. Супер са.

3, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11 (:D), 13 (много умно казано), 15 (хубаво е и това), 21 (има нещо вярно ) и т.н. Браво, браво.

[halcor]

много мъдрост има тук

[KiZZo]

Имаше едни картички наречени demotivators, част от тези майтапи съм ги виждал на тях. Ето още няколко
[img]http://veselba.kafence.com/pix/tabeli/despair/demotivators_1728_2480885.jpg[/img]
[img]http://veselba.kafence.com/pix/tabeli/despair/demotivators_1728_284571.jpg[/img]
Останалите можете да видите [url=http://veselba.kafence.com/show.pl?pid=c25c7b6e3dc9f7724ff8fb23e528ceb8&br=15&nach=240&podr=desc&nomer=251&catname=Табели%20и%20надписи]тук[/url].

[bikerider]

[quote="KiZZo"]

Имаше едни картички наречени demotivators, част от тези майтапи съм ги виждал на тях. Ето още няколко
[img]http://veselba.kafence.com/pix/tabeli/despair/demotivators_1728_2480885.jpg[/img]
[img]http://veselba.kafence.com/pix/tabeli/despair/demotivators_1728_284571.jpg[/img]
Останалите можете да видите [url=http://veselba.kafence.com/show.pl?pid=c25c7b6e3dc9f7724ff8fb23e528ceb8&br=15&nach=240&podr=desc&nomer=251&catname=Табели%20и%20надписи]тук[/url].

[/quote]


първата за съжаление е тоооооолкова вярна... :rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Newone]

[quote]първата за съжаление е тоооооолкова вярна... :rofl::rofl::rofl:
[/quote]

и втората, и втората...

[kagami]

Japanese Error Messages.....

Here are some actual error messages
from Japan. Aren't these better than "your computer has
performed an illegal operation?"

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
--------------------------------------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
--------------------------------------------
Program aborting
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
--------------------------------------------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
--------------------------------------------
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
--------------------------------------------
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
--------------------------------------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
--------------------------------------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
--------------------------------------------
Three things are certain
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
--------------------------------------------
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
--------------------------------------------
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
--------------------------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
--------------------------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
--------------------------------------------

[kagami]

А ето и какви Дефиниции се шляят из пространството:


БАНКЕР: тип, който ти дава назаем чадър, когато грее слънце и иска да му го върнеш, когато вали дъжд.

ИНТЕЛЕКТУАЛЕЦ: тип, който може два часа да размишлява за нещо, и това да не е секс.

ПРОГРАМИСТ: човек, който ти решава проблем за който не си и подозирал, и то по начин, който не разбираш.

ПСИХОЛОГ: особа, която гледа всичко останало от момента, в който в стаята му влезе красива жена.

КОНСУЛТАНТ: това е този, който ти сваля часовника от ръката, казва ти колко е часът и след това ти издава фактура.

ДИПЛОМАТ: това е този, който ти казва да идеш на п...а си майчина по такъв начин, че нямаш търпение пътуването да започне.

ИКОНОМИСТ: професионалист, който утре ще знае защо това което е предвидил вчера не се е сбъднало.

КВАНТОВ ФИЗИК: сляп човек в тъмна стая търси черна котка, която въобще не е там.

МАТЕМАТИК: личност, на която и трябват пет минути да отговори пълно и точно на всеки ежедневен въпрос, при това напълно безкористно.

АРХИТЕКТ: тип, който не е достатъчно мъжествен за да стане инженер, и е твърде малко педераст, за да стане дизайнер.

РАБОТА В ЕКИП: възможността да прехвърлиш отговорността за грешките си на останалите.

ФУТБОЛ: за него се омъжва всяка жена, без дори да подозира.

ИНФЛАЦИЯ: плащане по цени от следващата година със заплата от миналото.

ГЛАВОБОЛИЕ: най-често употребяваното контрацептивно средство.

ХАРДУЕР: част от компютъра, която понася удари когато не върви софтуерът

[velco]

Още хайку:

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

Error messages
cannot completely convey.
We now know shared loss.

И любимото ми:

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

[velco]

И любимия ми демотиватор:

[img]http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/zoom/consulting-poster.jpg[/img]

[Cveti]

[quote="kagami"]

- To whomever it may concern -

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.

2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

3. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. No one is listening until you fart.

6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. Don't squat with your spurs on.

15. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

16. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

23. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

24. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
[/quote]

Not bad!:)
May the force be with you.

[velco]

Продължаваме с японската тематика:
[img]http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/viao.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/spermmouse.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/ScannerError.gif[/img]